You Bash the Balrog

Words © Lee Gold
Tune: Waltzing Matilda
Illustrated by Nick Slope

Once a jolly Cleric, and a magic-using Elf,
And a mighty Dwarf with a sword plus three
Left their native village - out to get their share of pelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

First they met a Goblin - with a fire-breathing Hound.
They bashed and they smashed and they scragged them with glee.
Afterwards they searched them - and a Magic Potion found.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

The low Wisdom Swordsman picked it up and drank it down,
Changed to a Wolf immediately.
No one could Dispel it, so they headed back to town.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

Then a loud voice bellowed, "Who has slain the Goblin King?"
Round turned our heroes; what did they see?
Swooping down upon them was a Balrog on the wing.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

"Help," screamed the Cleric; "Ditto," yelled the Elven Mage.
The Wolf whimpered low - and he tried to flee.
The Balrog fell upon them, and his flames began to rage;
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

They ran through the forest, looking for a place to hide,
Pursued by the Balrog, so fierce to see.
"Wait," cried the Elf Mage; "I have got a plan," he lied.
"You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree."

Once a mighty Balrog slew a Cleric and an Elf
And a smallish Wolf who had teeth plus three,
Skinned them and tanned their hides...and kept them on a closet shelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

First published in Alarums and Excursions
Reprinted in News from Bree 21.
 

Lee:

Thank you for your kind permission allowing this to be included on the Earthdaughter website!